Thursday, April 21, 2005

The God Ballot

VOTE FOR YOUR CHOICE FOR
PRESIDENT OF HEAVEN
(in no particular order)

__ None of the Below
__ (Write In) ____________________________
__ The Cosmic Mother
__ Mrs. God
__ Hidden Mother/Holy Spirit (Christian)
__ Mary (Catholic)
__ Shakina (Jewish)
__ Inmost Self, disguised as all living beings (Hindu)
__ Tao, flowing energy of the universe (Chinese)
__ Secular Humanismo
__ Mysterium Tremendum
__ Sacred Texts
__ Old Testament (Hebrew)
__ New Testament (Christian)
__ Koran (Islamic)
__Triune God/Divine Family
__ Father/Son/Holy Spirit (Christian)
__ Osiris/Isis/Horus (Egyptian)
__ Brahma/Vishnu/Siva (Hindu)
__ God Incarnated (in human form)
__ Messiah (Jewish)
__ Yeshu’a (Hebrew)
__ Iesous (Greek)
__ Iesus (Roman)
__ Jesus (English)
__ Krishna the Redeemer (Hindu)
__ Buddha (Indian/Chinese)
__ Tammuz/Ishtar (Babylon)
__ Mithras (Persian)
__ Mithra (Roman)
__ Dionysus/Bacchus (Greek)
__ Astarte/Adonis
__ Attis (Roman)
__ Abrahamic UniGod
__ Yahweh (Jewish)
__ God the Father (Christian)
__ Allah (Islamic)
__ Bachelor Father
__ Mr. God
__ Invisible Sky King
__ Supreme Being
__ Boss of the Universe
__ External Authority
__ God of Hosts (military)
__ The Almighty
__ Man Upstairs
__ Lord of Lords
__ Eurasian UniGod
__ Jupiter (Roman)
__ Zeus (Greek)
__ Odin (Norse)
__ Ahura Mazda (Persian)
__ Impersonal or Suprapersonal Deity
__ Inconceivable Energy Underlying the Universe
__ Vague and Formless Spirits
__ Fear of Death
__ The Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer
__ Homogenized Space
__ Whopping Jolt of Electricity
__ The Sky
__ UFOs
__ Sun
__ Moon
__ Stars
__ Clouds/Rain/Thunder/Lightning
__ Djinns of the Air
__ Featureless Light
__ Earth
__ Gaia the planet
__ Rocks/Mountains
__ Holy Places
__ Crops/Trees
__ Sex
__ Sacred Animals
__ Human Ancestor
__ Anti-God
__ Satan
__ Devil
__ Beelzebub
__ Diablo
__ Archfiend
__ Lord Harry
__ Lucifer
__ Old Gooseberry
__ Old Nick
__ Old Scratch
__ Serpent
__ Prince of Darkness

posted by GodBallot @ 9:09 AM 6 comments

Vote for God

The GOD BALLOT
For
PRESIDENT OF HEAVEN
In 325 A.D., the Roman Emperor Constantine convened the first general council of the entire Christian world at Nicaea near Constantinople (modern-day Instanbul in Turkey). A ballot was held and the assembled bishops voted 315-3 to decide that Jesus was truly Divine and therefore the Son of God. In a vote that was not unanimous, Jesus became the first God ever elected to the Seat of Heaven by the democratic process (or, technically, republican—since it was representatives of the people who in this case actually did the voting on the people’s behalf).

Americans don’t believe in kings in their politics. We elect Presidents. Since God is now heavily involved in American politics, why not think of God as not a king, but a president—President of Heaven? Using the precedent of Jesus’s election into heaven by majority vote of an assembly of representatives, shouldn’t all Americans get the chance to vote for God, too? Voting for the President of Heaven will take place daily on this blog.
The winner of the God balloting will get to claim the title of President of Heaven for that 24-hour period. Deciding what duties to perform will be the responsibility of the winner.
WARNING: Falling below a certain percentage point in the popularity opinion polls can lead to forfeiture of title even prior to the conclusion of the 24-hour term of that day’s President of Heaven. No President of Heaven can hold the office for more than two successive terms.

posted by GodBallot @ 9:01 AM 0 comments